Friday, November 30, 2012


Meera has forwarded me an article on ' Dawn'..

Dawn is a NASA Spacecraft tasked with the exploration and study of Vesta and Ceres the two largest members of the asteroid belt. These asteroids are named after Roman Goddesses.. In one of the articles it is written that asteroids are Peter Pans of the Solar System. 

There always a mystery surrounding planets and their mystical evolution and there the earthen elements stand apart holding rain drops and fresh life..

While reading about  asteroids Gayatri phoned me to tell that there  was a chaos in the  university festival that a judge was accused of giving more marks to one minister's undeserved participant in one dance competition. She has seen the performance and she said the one who got the price was just average. 

Things like that happen all around  and I know how Thulaseedalam blocked Meera's Poems.. To safeguard the narrowness of a few humans,  people in specific try to trade conscience and crucify humanity.. Meera tried her best not to get caught but the more she tried the detractors enforced their will against her saying that only a minister can be right in this world which Meera refused to accept and that shattered her dreamy world of poems and life itself. .. 

I told Gayatri that our aim should not be to win like that minister's relative that we should aim towards better things.

I remembered what Meera wrote on her diary...

From the stars of the skies
i have learned that there exists
a million beautiful words
to drape me like a poem
where i see no filled up past,
present or future
but the glowing conscience
of mine which dared 

Dawn... let the mission my dreams i can see stars of my horizon.... poetic.. i liked that name.. Dawn....           


That was the name of the roof top clear sky-star view restaurant.
I met a person there from the Skanda Caterers. He joined Akash, may be for better future.

I was not sure what to order.. I was thinking of a request from Jonathan Gheller. CEO of storyline..

Jonathan Gheller would love for you to share this story:

"What is the funniest thing that has ever happened to you?"

Funniest thing.... 
Funny Incidents....
From the past comic colour competitions i could collect  a lot  of comical scenes.. Which one is the most funniest??

From the purest form of dreams i watched how colour bags floated around me destroying my earthen heartbeats.. 

Really, the most funniest thing ever happened to me is that i thought the world is too good and believed many face masks were real.. The most funniest thing ever happened to me is that i have learned to hold the burden of a million accusations....
The most funniest thing happens around me now is that people still hold me responsible for the things which i was not responsible for.....
What more??

I  was different and it is
funny when i find  people muse me and fuse to amuse me to invariably make feel numb..

My heartbeats are tuned to hold now antarctic ice that climate changes have turned as seasons for me. From the alphabets of life, i redefined my notes to make my heartbeats to sing on the strings..

Do you want a story..
Yes ... I can tell you..

Someone hides behind me and i don't know for what...
Day and night that it is that i  can't just send a mail or chat with my friends. 
Debts of love and hatred...  
Raw Materials.... which can be used for settling scores for the score settlers against my earth and among themselves...
Funny.. yes.. 
for some people it is all  achievements... to climb ladders they use the pains and sorrows of others.. I know  it is strange but that is life... break it or take as a funny event..

There was an Indo-Brazilan Concert  in National Gallery of  Modern Art in Manikavelu Mansion and i know it is serious a passion to  break the heartbeats on such a concert...

From there i  walk back to read about summits and launches..
Where on Belgium submit what our Nation gained..
Nissan Launched Micra and Honda a Brio..

Contrast of life and from the scenes of season i wrote where someone struggled day and night to silence my words..
Funny and Strange...
I never knew my words would hold so much power that it needed to be suppressed in one funny colour coated mission..

From the Debt Sheets of  Life i  picked up rain drops and autumn tints and  scribbled poems of Stars and total strangers handpicked them to muse and fuse without giving a chance for me to  speak in tune with my hearbeats...
.. Cosmic Error... may be fate.... 

I think in a way that my heartbeats are now tuned in a magical way to face that Cosmic Error.. I painted a coat of natural green on my destiny line after a monsoon...
It wasn't easy but i managed and someone in specific did not like that...

Yes, from the same cosmic chart of errors, i found it very funny that someone challenged me beyond the skies and stars to gift me a .
cosmic treaty obewilderment..... I could see the puzzled stars of the sky turning towards my earthen lamps..
I wrote..
The most funny challenge of my life...
Cosmic Error... 
For sure....
Irredeemable debts of love and hatred.........
Beyond the  skies beyond the stars... ...


Monday, November 19, 2012


I have read about  'The Thinker by Auguste Rodin because his creation 'The Thinker was originally known as 'The Poet"

From  forgotten eras to a world of creative streams, i need to flow..I have opened one such 'world  search' to find more about the creator of 'the Poet'..
there it is written...
"Rodin was sensitive to the controversy surrounding his work, but refused to change his style. "

I remembered what Gayatri said..
It is better to do what is comfortable than to do dramas to please the world around.. 
I cannot keep quiet when my integral elements are tortured and humiliated.. My harshness is against the intentional hurt not against realistic fate..I cannot keep quiet when events are manipulated for convenience..

People who advice me to talk and behave sweetly should be well mannered from deep within and not the ones who hide their greed on sweet talks. People who advice me need to hold their standards first...

Blog of Gayatri sparks in tune with her heartbeats..

I opened Meera's Ocean.. her creations..

There this title got my attention and i have decided to read.. Meera touches my heart in a different way  There is an element of artistic poetry in Meera which i love. I feel she reflects me in many ways.
'How Can it be'

There again union leaders blocked the classes with a 'strike'. They raised slogans and moved around the college holding their bright flag. Lenin or Stalin, Lakshmi does not know who inspires them to call such loud slogans. From Russia and China they learned the basic alphabets of revolution. No one can question them They call for 'strikes' and in most of the times they strike not for students  but to settle scores on behalf of their political leaders.  They block classes against the knowledge seekers like Lakshmi and consider it as the great event of their life.

Lakshmi walked  towards the college Library and as usual there under the Tamarind Tree, a bunch of union leaders gathered, may be to discuss about the next strike.    
Her parents were Teachers and she needed to wait for their return as her mother hated the idea of Lakshmi being alone at home. 

Her main activity on the days of strike is to sit in college library and read as many  books as possible except study materials.

When she was walking towards the main library Benitta came on her way with a heavy book in her hand.. 
She looked very calm and stern but Lakshmi could feel a kind of inspiring charm in her blunt face. She never walked like the one who faced the most humiliating love break up in the college.. 

Benitta created an aura around Lakshmi and like the rays of a fine light of a beautiful star,  guarded Lakshmi and her mind stream to chase away the  funny love boys who venture serious-time pass  with girls..

There this one.. the same one who follows Lakshmi like a shadow..

Hi.. wait for a minute
Lakshmi stared at him
What is your name.. 
Lakshmi stared at him again..
I am Alex.. 
I want to tell you something.. i have written what i want to tell you in this one..
He pulled out one letter and before Lakshmi could do anything snatched her bag and put it in that..
Lakshmi was shocked and hated his intruding nature. She  took back her bag and ran towards the college library..

Tear that.. 
Benitta entered her brain and warned..

Alex had tried all his best to love-time pass with Lakshmi but  Benitta entered her heartbeats to block her from falling in the traps of boys. 

When  Lakshmi thought of love she remembered Sebastian, the boy who hurt, humiliated Benitta to death. 

Lakshmi remembers the day Sebastian asked her to talk to Benitta about his love which Benitta never responded . Sebastian tried all his tricks and even told Lakshmi that he is unable to eat or sleep that his love for Benitta is like a beautiful river and he would love her for life..

Lakshmi never knew why Benitta denied Sebastian that she never wanted opened up her life..

She did not want her friends to know about her unhappy home . She stayed in Boarding and never told us that her father was a married man when he married her mother. His first wife lived with him in the US that he did not even tell his family in Karukachal and  without telling the facts he married again.   He lived in the US with his first wife and  later when Benitta's mother came to know about the facts  her marriage ended in one Divorce. Benitta's mother was married of again as her family members thought of her as a responsibility. Benitta's father was kind to her that he liberally sent dollar cheques and beautiful greeting cards for her happiness that he thought she could buy happiness with money.. In school and college Benitta stayed in Boarding.

Benitta never opened up her unhappy home in front of her friends and  she managed to convince her friends that she is one like them. She treated all her friends  in canteen that she had enough dollar converted money.  She remained peaceful in her own way that she never allowed her unhappy home  to come in between her studies..She wrote beautiful stories and poems. Her only dream was to write..

There entered Sebastian, the destroyer of dreams..
He could not sleep or eat food.... Several times he had asked Lakshmi to bring Benitta to the Tamarind Tree that he could speak to her.. 
Sebastian.. Benitta.. lovers.. 
the whole college sang a symphony...

Benitta believed Sebastian... She told him that after his studies she will ask her dad to take him to the States.

There the forced intermission..

Sebastian does not want to talk to Benitta.. 
Lakshmi wanted to know the reason there Seabastain does not even want to talk Lakshmi..
Sebastian dumped Benitta........
There again the whole college sang a symphony..

Lakshmi could not believe what happened in front of her  and she cursed Sebastian and got terribly annoyed at his behavior and narrated the whole story to her aunt ..
How can it be...?? this guy could not sleep or eat.. .... now how can he change..
What is the reason??.
Benitta did not tell him about her unhappy home and he came to know about through another source and he dumped her for that reason...
How can he do that..... 
he never understood her.....
Lakshmi was furious..
Lakshmi... do not take campus love too seriously.... concentrate on your studies.. 
her aunt advised her..
Lakshmi could not take it that too lightly.... 
Sebastian avoided Lakshmi but Lakshmi could not hold and she stopped him one day and asked with all her courage..
How many more girls you need to score a century..
Sebastian never expected that from Lakshmi as he thought he was the unquestionable cricket hero of college with a mountain like  fan list ..
Sebastian did not utter a word and that made Lakshmi more angry and Lakshmi imposed a ban on him from her life and stopped watching his otherwise popular  game of finishing the opponents with his mean master strokes..    

Benitta showed her strength that she could even take up a breakup..Maybe, that is too less a burden Benitta could carry in her otherwise heavy heart..
Lakshmi opened her bag 
A  piece of folded paper.. Love-time pass letter from Alex.
Tear that...
She heard a voice..
Lakshmi looked around... no one she could find..
Tear that.. 
she could feel Benitta whispering deep inside from her heart.. 
Tear that.. Tear that... 
Lakshmi pulled that paper piece of love and tore into pieces..
Thin paper pieces floated around her like artificial heart shaped toys..

Good Girl.
Benitta entered her heartbeats..

How can it be..??? ...

How can it be...
I wanted to ask...
I wanted to know what happened to Benitta but Meera had closed her story like an art film.. 

There the creator of the Poet to the the Creator of the Thinker. Le Poete to  L Penseur..
How can it be..
Le Poete the Poet... original creation..from origin to one enveloped gloom.. how can it be...
even i do not know......


Sunday, November 11, 2012



Meera opened her diary..
10/11/2012.. unusual date.. 
She wrote..
Rain has filled a poetic element in me.. and there the ink marks try again to project their own national duplicity. Yes that is past.. no need to fill my contribution there I know for sure Gayatri will retaliate. 

If i speak or not  i know my heartbeats will be dissected  and fortunately  i think not of that now.. At times i know I receive reminders of a past not from my well wishers but the people who love to see my tears. It is a lie that if I tell I don’t cry but I have learned to hide it from people. I know there the  wrong interpreters  wait near my heartbeats  to try the same techniques which they used  in the past with an intention to see me in a bad state of mind.. One thing I know that I cry now less that with the help of my own inner  strength i learned to hold back my  tear glands . I am aware that there  people wait near my heartbeats with an ultimate wish that i should cry...

While climbing down from the mountain to my earth it rained .. There no shelters in mountain but only the torching heat of a boiled Sun and on the way back to my origin a season changed.... fresh rains..

Meera is in her rain poems and i need to come back from her world to be in my present..

I find there no hope from the fighting leaders of my nation and i have decided to open my curious heartbeats towards the unique earthen canvas of nature...

An earthquake in Mandalay and there a part of the unfinished new bridge above Irrawaddy River fell killing and injuring several people. In Kyank Myaung there again  houses collapsed. From the ruins of Syria I have seen  images of people running away from their home country to Turkey.

What more I need to smile that someone has sent me again an inspirational quote with a few hidden arrows which i know turned very outdated for my present mind set up that I wanted to tell that kind-hearted soul  (it is ok if add a bit of sadism ) a question or two but i preferred to hide it from my memory; a better option than an encounter.

I opened Gayatri’s blog and as usual she could not hold back her inner call and from there I walked Into Antharaganaga..

Description of Antharagange from the 'must see places  guide..
Anthargange is a hill range situated near the city of Bangalore. The range is situated in the district of Kolar in Karnatak and is approximately 65 kms from Bangalore. Volcanic rock formations and its numerous cave systems are the main tourist attractions of the Anthargange range. Numerous caves and rocky outcrops will keep any traveler busy with exploration. There are also a few temples and religious sites for the spiritually inclined.

Since the hill range is situated only 65 kms from Bangalore, day trips is the best option. The excellent road network to Kolar and the scenic drive make it worth the visit..

Anthargange has many natural springs and the weather is generally very pleasant. Overall Anthargange is an excellent place for a day trip.

Antharaganga has transported my thoughts to River Ganga..

River Ganga got its mystical legendary charm where the penance of Bhagiratha to bring Ganga from Heaven to Earth and there we watched her in different names  - Hladini, Pavani, Nalini, Jahnavi, Sindhu, Suchushus and Ganga.  A journey to get confiscated in Lord Shiva's Kapardam to set free again to turn as the river of our nation.....Heavenly Alakananda to Earthen Ganga....

Ganga.. very poetic a river even when on thousands superstitions people around try to pollute her integral holiness.. Ganga Flows like a poem...

Antharagange.. inner ganga.. river ganga...very earthen .. I thought in my mind..